In 2015, I was months deep in a new layer of therapy, facing all of my labels face on:postpartum depression, eating disorders and unresolved trauma from childhood experiences. I was learning how to live all over again. It was the first time I had truthfully acknowledged that judgement was the continuous theme in my everyday life. Both the fear of being judged and the judgement I placed on others to protect me from my fear. It was one of the most uncomfortable times in my life and I was struggling to show up for the people that I loved.
Power Flower Friday began from my deeply rooted need to stop hiding in the darkness of judgement and fear. I was desperate to find a practice that allowed for the trusting, vulnerable and kind parts of myself to step forward to lead the way.
The truth is, WE ALL have our hard stuff. It’s different and similar all at the same time. And yet, even though I knew this, it was still easier to put my blinders on and live from the fearful place of “me versus them.” So I asked myself the question, “What can I do, with two toddlers, to start peeling off my blinders?”
The answer came at the grocery store. Flowers. Giving flowers is a custom of expressing care and compassion that many people, from many walks of life, take part in. It’s a way of saying “I care.” But I had always thought of flowers as frivolous, because they die and get tossed away. However that day, when we walked into the store I saw them differently.
So we bought a $5 bouquet. When we got back into the car, I sat and wrote a note...words that I needed to hear. About acceptance and acknowledging the messiness of our everyday living. Then we drove through the parking lot and picked out a car - left them on the windshield and drove away.
As I drove away, I felt the relief from the constant buzz of anxiety that I had come to call normal. It was the feeling of healing from the inside out. Each week that feeling lasted a little bit longer. After a few weeks, I decided to share the flowers with someone in person...a stranger. Those few moments of connection deepened the sense of healing further than I can explain. And I knew, this was my thing. Power Flowering. Sharing small pieces of beauty and kindness, to create a connection from human to human.
Onward We Grow,